Monday, March 31, 2014

              Charlie Madigan's Screamer Faux News Blog:

      The search continues in an ocean full of our own garbage

This is not Charlie Madigan, but it is screaming!

                           So, what is the news telling us about this very airliner?

The Malaysian plane has been someplace we can't locate for a long time now, and even satellites that supposedly can read our license plates and measure the vibrations of conversations behind windows are at a loss. What we have found is just how much of a ridiculous, sloppy mess we have made of our oceans.

We have also found what a ridiculous, sloppy mess the news business is. Spend a few endless hours on CNN watching every conceivable specialist in airplanes guessing in the absence of any knowledge. Nothing stops modern media from its advertising-supported news shows, even the absence of news.

Media even trots out the families of victims of other airplane crashes to ask them how they felt when it happened to them. Without even turning up the sound, my guess would be "Bad." Why do we do this?

"Plane Found!" That I would watch.

 "We can't find the plane!" Not so much.

What purpose is served by this search? I suggest it's because this is what the culture, the world culture, thinks it must do when something as big as an airliner goes missing. We may be demanding a satisfaction that we will never get in anything just because we believe we are entitled to know.

You might think, "How hard can it be to find a big airliner when, after all, we located the Titanic and even went down to visit its spooky remains?"

Cherub from Main Titanic Stairway

Titanic at rest on the ocean floor

The only problem with that comparison is that we knew exactly where the Titanic hit the iceberg in 1912 and exactly how it broke up and went forever to the ocean floor. It's like a vintage mausoleum down there, just waiting for visits from people who actually had nothing to do with the heartbreak of that wreck. (Watching the movie does not qualify as connecting you to the event, even if you cried.)

The loss of the plane has been the cause of much inspiration, but I think the best response to that call for clarity comes from Courtney Love, who has plenty of time to think about these kinds of things.

Courtney believes she has found the plane! Thank God. Now we can all rest. Here's her idea.

Is it real? Did she find the plane? I don't know, but I do know it presents the perfect chance to display a picture of another wreck that sometimes has been very hard to find, Courtney Love.

The search (for the plane) will undoubtedly continue, even though the oceans are so full of decades and decades of non-decomposing human crap my guess is we will never see any of it floating out there where a satellite or flyover can eye and identify it.

That leaves us with a conclusion: There are some things we cannot know. This is very sad, of course, because the plane did not disappear by itself. It carried 239 passengers and crew members, and we should mourn them and the losses to their families. Finding the plane doesn't change that either way. Loss remains loss.

This puts it all in the same category as religion.

Just like Jesus, saints and all the rest, at one point we believed the airliner existed, and now it is gone.

Maybe this is one for the lawyers.

The rest of us should move on to other big media subjects like:

1. How long is it going to take the Republicans to conclude the Russians invaded Crimea because of Obama care?

2. Now that Butter is healthy again, what else do we get to do that used to be fatal?

3. Why do we suddenly find gas prices climbing just as vacation approaches?

4. Is the Pope, a southern hemisphere kind of believer if ever there was one, still a Catholic? (The answer will forever adapt the old "Do Bears Shit in the Woods" comparison.

I would like to say, "I mean no disrespect," to close this column, but that's not true. I am building a powerful disrespect for commercial media that keeps screaming even when there is nothing to scream about. It has made it difficult to watch news, which was something I once delighted in.

Time to go now.